I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
