i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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