why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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