Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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