I heard we made out
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
