okay pat passed out under dana's car
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
