How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
