omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
