this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize