She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
