Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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