need another drink. this is the easiest way
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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