Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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