this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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