the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
