fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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