I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
