Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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