This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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