put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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