No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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