Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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