i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
