Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
