I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
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stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
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Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize