Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
