You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My vagina is very pro this idea
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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