gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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