so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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