We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
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Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
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I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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