considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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