If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
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On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Why are your pants in the freezer?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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