Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
