shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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