i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
