maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
