does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
