then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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