yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
