Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
