There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
