I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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