Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
