woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
