I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
