hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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