went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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