I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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