I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
