You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
