Your mouth is God's brothel.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
