we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
worst night to have a conscience
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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