your parents love me but you hate me
Just cropdusted the office
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
