i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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