All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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