you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
