woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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