god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
