Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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