I cockslap morals
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
