So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
