Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
