I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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