When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
