normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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