you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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