i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
