96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
